Welcome to election, where we bring you the latest and greatest hits from this years presidential and regional elections.
There is a talented and dedicated video maker out there somewhere who has spliced a video of Mitt clips of Romney arguing with himself. Listen closely and you will hear the excellent decision making abilities of the man that the Republican party actually thinks should be president. It’s new Mitt versus the slightly less new Mitt. I swear, the man changes personalities more often than clothing!
Next up we have the shocking story of a candidate who made actual eye contact with someone from Wall Street. The polls show a dip in popularity following this amazing revelation. The candidate had no previously known ties to Wall Street, so this came as somewhat of a blow to diehard supporters. “I thought he was the real deal! I’m so disappointed that he’s a wall-street-trader-eye-contact-maker-wither.”
After this, we have a criminal lineup of those 47%, those scoundrels that don’t pay taxes! First up is Grandma, who lives off her retirement funds and has no income to speak of. After that we have widdle baby cutsie pie, who isn’t even old enough to legally work. Next up is old uncle Bertie, who can’t walk right after coming back from Nam, and lived off his pension.